Last Resort: S.I.N. Series Read online

  “Come for me,” she demands in her rasp of a voice.

  And those three words fucking undo me. I lose all thought, all sense of where I am. All I can see is her. All I can feel is the crazed man she’s made me. All I know is that I can’t wait to fucking do it all over again.

  “Mine,” I murmur against her lips as I breathe her exhale as my next inhale. “Fucking mine.”

  CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

  Sutton

  My head spins as I walk back to the table and try to fathom what the hell just happened.

  The urgency. The ownership. The high of the act when getting caught was a possibility.

  But more than anything, it was the look in Callahan’s eyes and the emotion in his voice.

  I’m not naïve to know that a lot of it was jealousy over the fact that he saw me with his brother, but there was something else there. Something more.

  Wanting there to be an us.

  And after thinking I screwed things up last night with my oversharing, I’ll gladly take it. Gladly take him.

  I’m on a high. From the sex. From his admission. From finally knowing there is in fact, something between us.

  Now, if I can only make it through this dinner with Ledger without him knowing anything that happened over the past seven minutes.

  “Ledger. Sorry. A staff member pulled me away on the way to the restroom to ask a question.” I offer a polite smile as I sit down, my thighs still quivering from Callahan.

  “Nothing serious, I hope.”

  “Nothing I couldn’t handle.”

  “You sure? You look flushed.”

  My laugh is tinged with nerves. So much for trying to hide it. “Yes, I’m fine. I had to jog over to my office real quick and grab a key. Someone lost theirs and—” I shake my head. “You know what? It’s not important. It’s taken care of and I’m back.” I offer a smile and hope it looks genuine.

  He eyes me for a moment and then nods. “Okay. So where were we? We finished talking about the new offerings you want to add to the schedule, the change in marketing, which looks incredible, by the way.”

  “Thank you.” His praise makes my smile widen. “We contracted the firm today to get going on the esthetic overhaul as well.”

  “I agree with your choice on them. Their design ideas were classic yet fresh. It will definitely add to the overall visual appeal of the resort when the remodel is done.”

  “Agreed. What else? The staff. The employees. Getting their compensation packages and contracts sorted out,” I say.

  “And do we have it sorted yet?”

  “We’ve gotten a first draft of an employee contract from your team, and it’s currently being negotiated. It’s one of our last must-have-completed items before we leave the site.”

  “And it’s going well? The negotiations and whatnot?”

  “Nothing I can’t handle,” I repeat.

  “Good.” He nods. “That’s always good to hear. Roz was right, then. We do have the right woman for the job.”

  If only you knew . . .

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

  Callahan

  The footsteps behind me draw closer and then stop. I don’t turn around to greet him. Instead, I keep staring at the moon’s reflection on the water and listening to the gentle lap of the waves on the shore.

  “So let me guess. You just showing up out of the blue without warning was your way to try and catch me doing something I shouldn’t be doing.”

  “It was a last-minute decision,” Ledger says without further explanation.

  “How’d you know where to find me?”

  He chuckles and steps beside me so that his toes are in the sand next to where I’m sitting with a beer in hand. “I figured, what’s the place most off the grid in the resort, and I went there.”

  I nod and take a long draw on my beer.

  “Mind if I sit down?” he asks.

  “Yes.”

  “Callahan.” My name is a sigh on his lips I don’t want to hear.

  Not after coming down from the high of Sutton and what happened no less than two hours ago.

  It wasn’t enough.

  Am I a selfish dick if I say that?

  I’ve been thinking about being with her for the better part of two months and a quickie in a closet is nowhere near fucking enough of what I want from her.

  What I need from her.

  And that should scare the hell out of me.

  But for some reason it doesn’t. It only makes the desire to have her stronger. And it’s not just the sex. This is where I should be freaked the fuck out.

  But I’m not.

  Because it’s everything about her that I want more of. The sigh at her desk when she doesn’t get the response she wants from whoever is on the other end of her call. The way she swings her hips past my desk to make me question the panty issue. The way she still calls me Johnnie.

  And yet . . . we come from two different worlds. Two different lives.

  Her and her talk of expiration dates.

  Is that what I want? For us to have fun and then expire?

  Isn’t that all I’ve ever known?

  Then why do I want there to be an us?

  Is that why I’m out here trying to clear my head, to figure it all out, before facing Sutton again?

  Ledger shifts his feet beside me, pulling me from my thoughts and back to him and why he’s here.

  “You’re checking up on me,” I finally say.

  “Nope.”

  “Then you were just casually grilling Sutton over dinner to see if I’ve been pulling my weight and doing my part, right?”

  “Callah—”

  “Admit it. You’re here to rub my face in whatever I’ve screwed up, but you’re on-site and you’re not finding anything wrong. So, that leaves you at a loss over what to do.”

  “I haven’t said a word,” he says.

  “You didn’t have to.” I spit the words out, animosity eating me whole. “Oh, and by the way, should you stumble upon her, Gia conveniently happens to be here tonight. Somewhere.”

  His sigh is heavy. “And just like that you . . .”

  “I what? I warned you she’s here so you don’t see her and accuse me of doing things I didn’t do just like the last fucking time? Not that it’s any of your goddamn business either way.”

  “Accuse?” He snorts.

  “Yes. Accuse. You and Ford are so fucking hardheaded, so willing to believe the worst of me. You already had your minds made up before you even talked to me.”

  “Callahan. Can we just let this go? Move on?”

  “No. We can’t. You know why we can’t? Because not once did you two ask me where I was that night.”

  I glance over to my brother. I used to look up to him in so many ways, and I hate that this rift between us has stripped some of that respect away. Our dad can no longer come between us, no more favoritism can eat away at our brotherly bond, but I don’t know if it can be repaired.

  “Just let it go, Cal.”

  “Fuck no.” I can no longer suppress the anger burning within me. I shove up out of my seat in the sand and move to rein in that anger. “It matters because you accused me of the unforgivable. Of putting a piece of ass before our family. Of putting my needs before the good of the company. You—”

  “Jesus Christ, Callahan. Cut the bullshit. You had in the past. You most likely will in the future. Why should we believe any different?”

  “Ask me where I was,” I shout. “Ask me.”

  Ledger sighs and holds his hands out seeming to say, tell me.

  “I was sitting in Dad’s room all goddamn night. I was in that gray leather chair; you know the one?” Our dad used to love that chair. He’d turn it to face toward the wall of windows in his penthouse in the sky and stare at the city he loved. He’d lose hours upon hours there contemplating world domination he used to say. The thought brings a smile to my lips. “I turned it to face his bed so I could watch him. So I could make sure his chest would keep rising and falling with each breath. So in case it didn’t, I could . . . I don’t know.”

  Save him. Make sure he wasn’t alone. I don’t fucking know, but I knew I had to be there.

  “Aren’t you the pious son,” he says.

  I’m on him in a second. My hands fisted in the collar of his shirt, my face inches from his as I shout, “I’m telling the truth.”

  We stare at each other for a few moments, my muscles tense, my eyes begging for him to believe me.

  “Callahan.” It’s my name. That’s all it is, but hell if the way he says it and the look in his eyes doesn’t tell me he might actually believe me.

  “He said things at dinner that night, Ledge. Made comments. About how he wanted to go home. About seeing Mom. About how tired he was. I thought he was saying goodbye.” My voice breaks, and I release my grip from his shirt and take a step back. I’ve spent months trying to come to terms with his death. Months. And for some reason, saying those words out loud, and having my brother really hear me, has it hit home.

  He really is gone. I’ll never hear his voice again. I’ll never feel his solid warmth from one of his bear hugs. His laughter will never again be part of my life. He’ll never meet Sutton. Never know how much she’s come to mean to me.

  God, I miss him.

  I move again. Restless. I walk to the water’s edge and stare out at the darkness, needing a minute to myself. Needing time to process.

  Ledger walks up beside me in his quiet, stoic way, and I can see him struggling just as I am. We’re Sharpes. We brush shit under the rug so when we have to sweep it out and deal with it, it’s not exactly the easiest thing to do.

  I scrub a hand over my face. This is not how this conversation was supposed to go. I was supposed to yell and scream and
keep living in the anger that has been consuming me for months, and he was supposed to accuse and blame and keep assuming the worst of me.

  But here we are. All that’s missing is Ford.

  “The deal,” I murmur. “He begged me to allow him to sign the deal. He made me promise that we’d make this place everything Mom had wanted it to be. How we’d make it shine and worthy of the Sharpe name.” I shake my head, still unable to look at him. “I was desperate to believe it wasn’t the dementia talking. Desperate to hold on to that moment of clarity and believe I was doing the right thing.”

  “So you took the fall, let us believe you slept with Gia, so he could stay at the figurative helm.”

  “I couldn’t let you take that from him. I’ve broken a lot of promises in my life, Ledge. A lot I’m not proud of, but I couldn’t break that one.”

  “I understand.” He sighs. His nod says he understands.

  “The last time we talked face-to-face, you threatened to kick me out of our family business.”

  “I know.” His words are quiet and not the anger-laced comeback I had expected.

  “Is that why you’re here now? To follow through on that threat?”

  “There’ve been a lot of things said that can’t be taken back,” he says.

  “Just like there have been a lot of things I’ve done, things that you and Ford were held to a different standard to than I was, that I can’t take back or fix,” I admit.

  “It is what it is, Callahan.”

  “Now you sound like Dad.” A bittersweet smile ghosts over my lips. I glance at him and see the tears welling in his eyes before he blinks them away and acts like they aren’t there. “I resented you two, you know. We were all busy trying to live up to the Sharpe name, live up to the expectations he put in place, but you two were always better at achieving what was expected than I was and am.”

  “And we resented you because you were doing your own thing, and it always felt like he loved you more because of it.” He looks at me. There’s an honesty in his eyes that’s part truth, part apology.

  “I reminded him of her. That’s all it was, Ledger. I reminded him of Mom, and it was his way of trying to be close to her.”

  He nods. “It still doesn’t make it right.”

  “You’re right. It doesn’t. But at the same time, I understand it because every time I’m around you and Ford, all I see is him. In your mannerisms, in the things you say, in the disappointment you rain down on me with a single look.” I take another sip of my beer. “It’s hard to be around you at times. You’re the golden children, and I’m the constant reminder of being the fuck-up.”

  “Is that why you bailed after he died?”

  “I bailed for a lot of reasons. Because of the blame you put on me, because I can’t stomach walking into the office and expecting to see him and knowing I never will again. Because of the guilt of not being what he needed me to be . . . because this career isn’t me.”

  “You’re good at it though.”

  I stare at him, take in the rare compliment and nod. “Thank you.”

  “You’re done after this, aren’t you?”

  I glance his way and give a measured nod. “That was the plan.”

  “To where?”

  “Everywhere. Somewhere. I don’t really know. Somewhere I can feel alive. You know me, I get antsy if I stay in one place too long.”

  We fall silent as I lower myself back to the sand and hang my head, closing my eyes for a beat.

  “We needed you, you know. When he died. We still do.”

  I nod, but don’t say a word, because I don’t know how his admission makes me feel. Better because maybe this rift is somewhat sewn up or worse because now that it is, I’ll be walking away.

  “Fuck, man. It’s way easier for you to be mad at me than to have to deal with emotions and shit.”

  Ledger’s laugh echoes around us. “Then I guess I’ll add more on to the pile while we’re at it.”

  “Jesus. Seriously?” I groan.

  “He made me make him promises too, you know. Like he made you do,” he says quietly and for some reason, my heart lodges in my throat at his confession.

  “Ledge . . .”

  “He made me promise to make you finish what you started with Ocean’s Edge. With right here. He wanted me to use whatever means necessary to get you here, to insist you make the changes needed . . . not only to benefit the company, but so that you would know you could do it without him. That you knew you were worthy of the Sharpe name.” He gives a shake of his head while tears burn in my eyes. “He said something about how he’d been teaching you all wrong. That you were the one who needed to get your hands dirty to know you’d made a difference.”

  I exhale audibly as I take in everything my brother has just said. Leave it to my dad to make a strong statement in death just like he had in life.

  “I don’t even know what to say.” I lean back and look at him. “I’m sorry you were put in the position in the first place. That couldn’t have been easy.”

  “He smiled when he asked me. He told me he’d been too much of a candy-ass over the years, but if there was one person who might be able to teach you your worth, it would be me.” He stares up at the sky and pauses. “I hated him for doing it for the longest time. I hated you for putting me in the position to have to be that person . . . but coming down here, seeing you succeed, I’m not sorry at all. You’ve done a good job here.”

  “Thanks. Fuck. Can we . . . can we just leave this shit at this?” I stand up again. I move. “This is too much shrink stuff.”

  “I know.” He chuckles. “You need to go think in peace.”

  “Yes. No.” I hold my arms out. “Something like that.”

  He walks over and surprises me when he grabs onto my arm and pulls me in for a man hug. But I grab onto him with just as much force before taking a step back and smiling at him.

  “Thanks . . . I guess,” I tease.

  “Always the smart-ass cracking a joke when things get too serious.”

  “You know me well, brother.”

  “I do.” He smiles before I turn to walk away. “Hey, Callahan.”

  “Yeah.” I stop and look over my shoulder.

  “For the record, you were exactly what he needed you to be. Don’t ever think anything different.”

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

  Sutton

  “And you had no clue they were doing it because of a promise they made to your dad?”

  Callahan looks at me across the short distance—he’s on the couch and I’m on the chair across from him—and shakes his head. “No clue.”

  He looks lost. That’s the one constant thought I’ve had since he stumbled in here thirty minutes ago.

  But here he sits with bloodshot eyes that I’m more than certain are from crying and a quiet posture about him that I can only chalk up to trying to process everything he’s just relayed to me.

  If I didn’t know him any better, I’d say he looks like a defeated man, but he’s not. Not after he finally hashed things out with his brother. Maybe it’s that he finally faced his father’s passing tonight. Maybe it’s everything combined that has worn on him for so long finally being put to bed.

  “What Ledger said . . . it doesn’t fix everything, I know that, but at least I can walk away from everything now with a clear conscience.”

  I nod, not trusting myself to talk because the thought makes my chest ache. He’s leaving, Sutton. You knew that all along. And yet there was a small part of me that was relieved tonight when he said he’d patched things up with his brother. A small part of me believed he might decide to stay if that happened.

  “What’s that look for?” he asks me, his head angled to the side, his eyes searching mine across the dark room.

  “Nothing.” I offer a soft smile that I hope reaches my eyes. “You keep telling me that you’re glad this happened, that you’ve finally talked this all out, but I know you well enough to know something else is bugging you.”

  The shadows play over his features as he finds the words to voice whatever is on his mind. “I just keep asking myself what kind of man puts his family in the position that he has to be threatened to do his part? What kind of son screws up so much that his father has to put the burden on his other son to fix it?”

  The heartbreak in his voice guts me. There is no right answer to his question, but I try to give one anyway. “The type of man who is trying to figure himself out. The type of man trying to find his place.”