On One Condition Read online

  My heart thumps in my chest as I stare at myself in the mirror. My cheeks are flushed and my smile is wide.

  We did it.

  We actually did it and . . . oh my God, it was . . . okay? I giggle, unable to take my eyes off my reflection.

  Do I look older?

  Changed?

  Like a woman?

  I mean, I know it’s not supposed to be great the first time. Well, at least according to the girls at school it isn’t, but the way he kept asking if I was okay. How gentle he was when I could tell he was trying so hard to go slow. How he held me afterward and whispered how much he loved me.

  I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.

  Tires crunch on the gravel driveway outside, but all I can think about is getting ready. Once Gran and Pop are asleep, I’m sneaking out to meet Ledger again.

  There’s a knock on the front door.

  I don’t want this night to ever end.

  Muffled voices float down the hall and through my closed door.

  Possibilities fill my head. Meeting up while we’re in college. Becoming engaged. Getting married. Having the life away from here I’ve always dreamed of.

  I hold my hand up and look at it as if I have a wedding ring on my finger. Asher Julia Sharpe.

  “It has a nice ring to it.” I smile again, unable to take my eyes off my reflection in the mirror. I’m so glad I saved myself for him. So glad that soon we’ll go to college and be able to be with each other all the time.

  He said we’ll find a way to make it happen and I believe him. I’ve never believed anyone more in my life.

  The voices raise in pitch. Pop is upset? That’s a rarity.

  It gives me pause and then, I hear the next words loud and clear.

  “The last thing he needs is someone like her to bring him down,” a masculine voice says. But the voice definitely isn’t Pop’s. Nosy, I head down the hall without thought, curiosity and dread on equal footing. “He has a bright future ahead of him, an empire to run, and I won’t have him sidetracked by a motherless girl with no pedigree and no future. This is non-negotiable. Do you understand?”

  “You have no right to come in here and order us around. We’re not your—”

  “He’s my son. I have every right to look out for his best interests. And she’s not it.”

  I subconsciously reject the idea that they’re talking about me. Why would someone ever say that? But as I turn the corner and the man standing before Pop comes into view, I know I’m wrong. Maxton Sharpe. Ledger’s dad. His features are similar enough, but it’s the way he carries himself, his mannerisms that are just like his son’s, that confirm my assumptions.

  “What do you mean I’m not in his best interest?” I march into the room, tears already burning in my throat. “You think I’m going to bring him down because I’m not rich or—”

  “Asher, go back to your room. Right now,” Pop demands, his eyes steely, his voice hard. I can’t remember a time when he’s ever spoken to me like that before.

  “Pop—”

  “Go!” he shouts without looking my way.

  “No. Stay,” Maxton says to me before looking back to Pop. “She needs to hear this.” Maxton’s eyes soften as he takes a step toward me, but I’m not fooled by them. “I’m sorry if you heard what I said. I was harsh.” He hangs his head as if he’s apologetic, but it’s all for show. Even I know that. “I was merely trying to push you away to protect you from the truth.”

  “What do you mean the truth?” I ask.

  “I’m ashamed to admit it, but my son used you. He got what he wanted from you, Asher,” Maxton says, his eyes boring into mine as shame washes over me.

  Gran and Pop now know what happened tonight.

  He knows.

  The room spins around me. Our private, meaningful moment, now public knowledge.

  “What are you talking about? He didn’t use me. He—”

  “He’s not meeting you later like you two planned either.” No, no, no. “I had his phone. I read his texts. You’re not the only one, if that helps.” I want to cover my ears and stop the noise. “In fact, he’s been seeing a couple other girls this summer and is out with one of them right now. He’s—”

  Liar.

  “No, he hasn’t,” I whisper, my head shaking and my mind not believing.

  “He has. He is. He’s down by the willow tree right now.” I wince. “Oh no, he didn’t con you into thinking that was your special spot too, did he?” His sigh is heavy as he shakes his head, disappointment all over his face.

  Tears blur my vision as I stare at a man I’ve never met but truly hate. “I don’t believe you. I need to talk to him. There has to be an explanation.”

  “Does a teenage boy really need one other than hormones?”

  I stare, blinking at this man who just turned my world upside down. All I can think of is Ledger’s easygoing, flirty nature. The way he fit in with everyone here. All the girls wanted him. It was even a running joke between us. Am I the fool here? For believing him? I mean, it would be so easy for him to be with one of them during the hours I worked here at the farm.

  Gran squeezes my hand, and it breaks the pieces of me I’m trying to hold together.

  He’s wrong.

  He has to be.

  Cedar Falls is a small town. Gossip is the norm here. Rumors are the currency teenagers trade. I would have known. I would have heard about it.

  “We’re leaving Cedar Falls tonight. I think it’s the best course of action after . . . everything. I’m sorry. I never taught my son to treat girls this way.”

  “I think you need to leave now,” Pop says, opening the door.

  “I’ve blocked your number from his phone and erased your information from his contacts, so he can’t hurt you again. I think it’s best for everyone, all around. A clean break. I’d hate for this to get . . . messy, if you know what I mean.” Maxton gives Pop a warning look that I don’t understand.

  “You’re lying. You have to be,” I shout as tears I didn’t realize I was crying hit my lips.

  “I’m sorry. Truly I am.”

  “No. This isn’t—he wouldn’t—”

  “I thought he was better than that too.” He bows his head briefly.

  A sob lodges in my throat. “Gran.” I look over at her, and she squeezes my hand. “He wouldn’t . . .”

  “Come on, Ash.” When her arm goes around my shoulder, I sag into her. “Let’s go to your room.”

  I struggle, wanting to hear the rest of what is being said, needing to, but Pop pushes Maxton out the front door and shuts it behind them.

  More is said. More arguing. More . . . I don’t know what.

  All I know is that when I ran out the front door against Gran and Pop’s wishes later that night and went to the willow tree as we’d planned, Ledger wasn’t there.

  “Whew. That’s rough. When I’m wrong, I admit it and yes, I was wrong about the man. Shit. I’m usually good at reading people too. Clearly, he is a dick of epic proportions,” Nita says as she pours more wine in our cups.

  Her words make me smile. “Honestly, I don’t know what to think.” I shrug, thinking of the look Ledger gave me after Hank interrupted us. The unspoken epiphany it looked like he had. “For the longest time, I believed that Ledger had used me. That he took pride in taking my virginity before moving on. I was humiliated and heartbroken and hated Ledger as much as I loved him.”

  “I sense a but coming here.”

  I nod. “But I knew Ledger. Like, you don’t spend three years getting to know somebody and be wrong like that.”

  “Do you think his dad was lying to you about it?”

  “It all came down to pedigree. Something I didn’t—don’t—have. He looked at me as a girl from the wrong side of the tracks. Think about it. I have no parents who claim me. I live in this small town that’s a blip on a map. There is no way I could ever be good enough for the golden son he was grooming to take over his empire.” Even saying the words now
cause a mixture of disbelief and disgust.

  “I’d like to say it makes sense but only in the worst kind of way.”

  “I know what you mean—and I agree.”

  “What did Gran and Pop say about it?”

  “Whatever Pop talked to him about that night outside is a mystery. Pop grumbled about assholes and avoided all talk of the Sharpes, while Gran babied me and my broken heart for months. She told me that’s what the boys we don’t want in our lives did and was glad he was gone.” I take a sip of wine and savor its tartness on my tongue. “I think it was easier for them to let me be heartbroken than to believe I wasn’t good enough.”

  “So his dad lied to you. He was fine being blunt and honest about his reasons until he came face-to-face with you. Then what? For some reason he took pity on you and decided to blame his son for breaking your heart rather than Ledger doing it himself?”

  “That’s my guess,” I murmur.

  “Did you ever try to call him? Ledger? Get in touch with him? Did he try to call you? I mean, it’s the twenty-first century, there are so many ways to talk.”

  “I did try. My texts and calls didn’t go through so I’m assuming his dad did block my number. Either that or Ledger got a new cell. I left messages on his social media. His email. Nothing. That’s why at first, it was so easy to believe that Ledger did use me. If that weren’t the case and he still loved me as I loved him, he would have tried to get ahold of me, right?”

  “True, but his dad was a powerful man who—”

  “Controlled him? I don’t know, Nita. He was an adult going to college that next month. Surely, he could have reached out once he was living on campus. It just . . . it just never made sense to me.” I push the swing. “And then I got to the point where I realized that even if we did reconnect, it wouldn’t matter. It’s not like his father would suddenly approve of me or think I was good enough for Ledger. I didn’t want to open myself up to that kind of humiliation all over again.”

  “So, you let it go?”

  “I did. I had to. Besides, a guy like Ledger was a catch. It was easier to think he’d already moved on to some girl with a prestigious last name and a fat bank account.”

  “What if you thought wrong?” she asks softly.

  “I can’t live my life in what-ifs.”

  “I can understand that.”

  “You know what stung the most though?” What told me what we had wasn’t real . . .

  “He never contacted you.”

  “Exactly.” I give a definitive nod. “He knew where I lived and could have written me. He knew my phone number because it didn’t change. If you truly love something, you fight for it.”

  “And he didn’t fight for you,” she murmurs.

  And yes, it’s ridiculous to expect that from a teenage boy about to start his life out from beneath his father’s wings, and yet what we had was special. Unique. Ours.

  “Pop would have fought for Gran.” My smile is bittersweet thinking of their love. “That’s the only real relationship I’ve known to compare it against.”

  Nita leans her head back, closes her eyes, and pushes the swing with her foot. “That was fifteen years ago. You’ve changed for the better in that time. I’m sure he has too. Maybe tonight was Fate’s way of stepping in to try and fix past wrongs.”

  “That’s absurd.”

  “I don’t think so.” She places her hand on mine. “If you think it was his dad’s doing, then maybe there’s more to the story. Maybe there’s a reason he didn’t reach out. Maybe this is your second chance.”

  “That’s a lot of maybes.”

  “Maybe it is,” she jokes.

  I smile and remember the way Ledger looked at me tonight before I left. As if there was a story in his eyes he was ready to tell. A story I’m not certain it matters that I hear.

  “When he stopped me at the end of the bar, it was to ask me if we could meet to catch up sometime.”

  “And?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “You don’t have to. All you need to know is that seeing him tonight got to you enough that you went on a long drive home. You only do that when something affects you. He affected you.”

  “Perhaps.”

  “Past aside, when I walked into Hank’s and saw you, the look on your face . . . it’s not one I see on you very often. You looked . . . I don’t know. I can’t put it into words, but now, I’m not exactly sure I like that he’s the one who put it there.”

  Another owl hoots followed by the distinct flap of its wings. We both watch as one swoops out of the trees and down to the ground to grab something near the rows of lavender.

  “Do you have any idea how his dad’s words affected me? How many ridiculous scenarios I have played out in my head in the months, maybe even a year or two after he left? I used to imagine becoming some famous artist and that Maxton would be at one of my art shows, completely enamored with my work. He’d try to buy a piece of my collection, and I’d refuse his money. I’d tell him it wasn’t for sale for men like him. That he wasn’t good enough to buy them. And then I’d remind him of who I was, where I was from, and tell him how very wrong he was.” I shake my head softly, staring into the night and remembering how I’d play the scene over and over in my head. “Guess that won’t exactly be happening now, will it?”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  I snort. “Look at this place, Nita. I’m holding on by the skin of my teeth right now. Between Gran’s medical debts that nearly crippled our savings, to the fire a few years back that wiped out basically everything but the house, I wouldn’t exactly call Asher Wells a raging success. Not to mention how Pop took his expertise in running this place with him. I have no idea what I’m doing.”

  “I don’t want to hear your bullshit. You’re still fighting, still holding on. So many people in this world aspire to own their own business. Look at you. You do own one.”

  I appreciate her pep talk but see it just like that. A way to make me feel better. And although I know there is the Ledger scale and the Asher scale in terms of both esteem and liquid assets, I think the real issue is that seeing Ledger reminds me of a time when Gran and Pop were my whole world. Still in my world. When I had them to turn to—to wipe my tears away, pull me in for a quick hug, and promise me everything was going to be all right.

  “I’m being ridiculous. Sorry. I just miss Pop so much and Gran’s presence around me every day,” I whisper on a sob.

  “Oh honey, I know.”

  I scrunch my nose and groan. “Just ignore me. Better yet, ignore everything I said tonight. I sound like a Negative Nancy.” I emit a self-deprecating laugh. “I’m just struggling is all. It’s like I lost a part of myself when I lost Pop, and seeing Ledger unexpectedly tonight when I’m already emotionally vulnerable, kind of knocked me off my stride. I became this wishy-washy woman who didn’t know if she should hate him or make peace with him, when I’m not a wishy-washy person at all.”

  “It’s okay to be vulnerable. It’s okay to be confused. Hell, it’s perfectly okay to be wishy-washy every once in a while.” She puts her hand on mine and squeezes. “You’ve been to hell and back these past few months, and wishy-washy is a lot better than I’d be in your shoes.”

  “Thank you. Truly.” What would I do without her friendship?

  “Any time. What did Gran always tell you?” What didn’t Gran tell me? She was always offering me tidbits of her wisdom. “Life will always throw you hard times, Asher Julia Wells, and having a pity party won’t solve anything,” she says, mimicking Gran’s tone as she nudges my shoulder. “But I think tonight, in Pop’s memory, Gran’s absence, the unexpected appearance of an ex, and being wishy-washy, we throw one. But we’ll definitely need a lot more wine if that’s on the agenda for the night.”

  “Good thing my kitchen is stocked.”

  Ledger

  “Why?”

  “Why what?” Mayor Grossman asks from his seat in the middle of the raised lectern amid s
ix other city council members. There’s a smarmy look on his ruddy face that tells me I’ve been invited to this Cedar Falls City Council meeting with a purpose in mind other than to welcome me to their robust city. Insert eye roll.

  “Why the two months?”

  “Because someone like you doesn’t understand the Cedar Falls way of life,” he says.

  “Someone like me?” Seriously? Asher was definitely right. This man is on a power trip simply for the sake of show and poll numbers.

  “Yes. You think you’re better than we are. New York City and all that.” He waves a hand of indifference as if that will explain his lack of reasoning.

  “And all that. Gotcha.” I chuckle and just as I’m about to speak, he carries on with his ridiculous show of authority.

  “You don’t get us, our town, or our desire to preserve our way of life. You see dollar signs and profit—not lives and their livelihoods.”

  “And so, my presence here for two months serves what purpose?” Requiring that I come to a town hall meeting to watch you pound your chest is bullshit. “With all due respect, Mayor Grossman, I know this town. I know its people. I spent summers here growing up as a kid, hence why my brothers and I wanted to buy this resort as an homage to our late father. He loved this town.”

  Murmurs ripple through the audience at my back. Too bad I can’t tell if they are for or against me.

  “That’s a novel idea but you can’t barge into this town and think your money will make you welcome. You may have known Cedar Falls ten, fifteen years ago, but that doesn’t mean you still know it now.”

  Something catches in my periphery and I look up just in time to see Asher cross her arms over her chest and give a subtle head shake. I’m guessing she’s saying the same goes for her. That I knew her then and don’t know her now.

  I lose my concentration and have to force myself to remember where we were. What I’m doing.

  “Isn’t this why you’ve insisted I be here? So I can get to know the town to your satisfaction?” I meet the eyes of the other six council members.